16 STEPS TO BREAK A HEART

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16. Pick a girl or a boy, whichever you're into.

15. Ask them out for lunch or dinner or whatever.

14. Have fun with them basically. Listen to them talk, if you're going to make it work, you have to listen.

13. Proclaim your love to them.

12. Tell them you love them despite their flaws. Speak metaphors to them, tell them that their smile is the face of the sun on a beautiful April morning. Tell them that they are a work of art, that the patch of hair by the side of their face doesn't make them look like half man-half goat, instead it made them unique, one of a kind, the last book on the shelf in the library of life or whatever. Tell them that their laughter is a beautiful symphony, tell them that the sky was adorned with a crimson moon the night they came forth from their mother's outstretched legs.

11. Talk to them everyday, I mean everyday.  Tell them you'll stay forever, till infinity. I'm talking about everlasting love.

10. Do not ask for a relationship, it's not necessary.

9. Send them money (If you have)

8. Be intimate with them. Kiss them on random places at random places. (Haha, a pun?)

7. Hug them everytime.

6. When they cry, be a shoulder. When they laugh, be their resonance, laugh louder.

5. When you notice that they've fallen deeply, when they're in too deep, tell them that they complain too much, that their laughter sounds like a goat blaring, that their even a goat, I mean look at that patch of hair on their face.

4. Hug other people in public. Tell them you're too busy to come over, isten to them talk about how their day went.

3. Speak metaphors to them again, tell them that their smile is a half moon on a rainy night in early March, that it is gloomy and without life. That their arms is an abyss you're scared to run into. That they are a portal of toxicity,  a pot of stone at the end of the rainbow or some twisted insane shit.

2.  Now tell them they've got to stop stressing you. That you're too busy for their tantrums, that you've got better things to do and that you're busy. Spell out busy for them B-U-S-Y.

1. Now for the last act, tell them "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for all this to happen but you know, life in all its entirety and diversity can be crazy sometimes and life, life happened and I'm sorry."

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